A & L's MMMMA of a Lost Epic Quest: A Continuation
by Shiggity Shwa
Summary: Abby and Lizzie's Mighty Magical Mystical Marvelous Alliteration of a Lost Epic Quest: A Continuation Into Seconds. AKA The girls made it into the second season!


_Long time no story. Well obviously I couldn't write this until I rewatched season 2, and I JUST got season 2, so here it is. Lizzie hasn't seen this yet, but I'm sure she'll love it, and fun fact we actually live MILES apart now. Anyways we're still a dynamic duo (another fun fact we had developments for Abby and Lizzie meet Heroes and Abby and Lizzie meet Drive, but they were put on hold). And for any new readers, this is a second season continuation of **Abby and Lizzie's Mighty Magical Mystical Marvelous Alliteration of a Lost Quest** a prevous story by us._

And remember, please review, just because I like to hear people's favorite part. I love to make people laugh, especially if it's not with my face.

**Important:** This is a parody story in which the same general guidelines of the show are used, but tweaked to our liking. We mean no offense or infringement by it, but it's fun to look at Lost like it's a Saturday Morning comic in your local newspaper. And have teenagers int he show who aren't in love and brainwashed.

**Disclaimer: **We own not, but borrow the show as if it were a delicious cup of sugar, or sacchrine if that's your thing. For further information on WTF this story is, please see above.

Without further ado...

Abby and Lizzie's Mighty Magical Mystical Marvelous Alliteration of a Lost Quest: A Continuation Into Seconds

Chapter 1

Thunk

Shoving her torch into the ground so she didn't have to hold it, Abby leaned her back against a tree and watched as Locke, Jack and Kate all peered down into the hatch. Hurley was a little to her left and out in the jungle muttering something about math. As soon as she heard numbers she just generally tuned out.

Jack sighed with frustration and turned away from the metallic door, "This isn't going to work, there's no way we're going to be able to fit all of us down into the hatch before they come."

"Seriously? You thought we were going to be able to fit down there?" Abby crossed her arms and watched as Locke and Kate still inspected the hatch. She was just waiting for them to crack their heads off each other. When Jack didn't answer her she continued, "We can't even fit Hurley down that hole. Man, sometimes you guys are just stupid."

"I can't tell how far it goes down," Locke glanced around for something to throw down, "Abigail can you pass me that rock?"

"Just throw Kate down," Abby suggested as she moved away from the tree, "This is boring me, I'm going back to camp."

"No," Jack shook his head, "We can't tell the rest of the group about the hatch. Not yet, it's too dark and dangerous now, but if you want we can explore it in the morn—Abby get out of there."

Everyone turned towards the opening of the hatch where Abby was already halfway in climbing down, "Sorry," she apologized, "I just thought you were going to go into one of those political speeches you make for your run for island presidency. When are you going to realize that this island is run by a monarchy and you're like thirty-third in line?"

"Jack's right," Locke suddenly agreed, "What's important now is that we get back to the caves and make sure that everyone is safe." As Jack nodded in response Locke sent a side glance to Kate who nodded lightly.

"Guys the numbers are—"

Abby pushed Hurley aside, "Did anyone else see that? He totally just sent a look to Kate," Abby pointed at Locke with an agape mouth, "Either they're going into the hatch, or they're totally doing something on the side, and after seeing Sawyer naked I do not need this."

* * *

Lizzie's eyes opened lazily and she was greeted by the slow lapping of waves and thousands of stars dotting the night's sky. She turned over on her side, adjusted her bag underneath her head and muttered something in sleep talk. She began to drift back to sleep when screaming interrupted her.

She tried dealing with it, but after the third scream, she sat straight up, "Shut up," her fist was raised in the air and she shook it, "It's," she glanced at her watch that was won from a breakfast morning cereal, "three thirty-three in the morning and some of us are trying to sleep on their pieces of floating wood."

"Lizzie," Michael called from a few yards away, he was straddling one of the bushels of bamboo he'd tied together to make his fool raft float, "Lizzie thank God someone else is here, Lizzie they took my son."

"So," she yawned and stretched out her arms, of all the places she'd slept on, a piece of drift wood in the ocean was one of the most comfortable, "They took Sawyer too."

"No," Michael pointed his hand out into the darkness, "He's over there in the water, but I didn't want to go get him."

It took a couple of seconds for Lizzie to understand what he meant, "Well I'm not going to go get him," her voice was harsh and loud.

"Well somebody better come and get me because my arm is numb where those bastards shot me," Sawyer's voice rang through the darkness.

Lizzie laughed full heartedly, "Oh yeah," but when she turned back to Michael he seemed less than impressed. An angry scoff came out of her mouth as she checked over both of her shoulders, "Where the hell is Jin, he can go and get him."

Michael looked at her incredulously, "Don't you remember anything that just happened?"

"Hmmm," Lizzie touched her bottom lip as she tried to remember the occurrences of that night, "I remember trying to give some guy your kid, and then everyone screaming everyone's name and then I screamed Stella and everyone got mad, and then Sawyer got shot, which was freaking awesome, Abby will love it. I wish I could have the picture transferred to a postcard and mail it to her at the hatch."

"Well Jin is missing," Michael informed sounding a little snobbish.

"Are you kidding me?" Lizzie screamed and stood up on her thin piece of raft, "First he says nothing, then he says Korean, then he tells me to 'shhh' and now he's gone? What the hell was he doing to help us? Honestly did we all have a lapse in judgment when we decided to bring him?" She crossed her arms and sat back down so her legs were dangling in the water, "Why did the others take him and not me?"

For a second only the waves could be heard once again until Sawyer broke the blissful silence, "I'm still struggling out here you know. I got shot."

Lizzie laughed again and rubbed at the tears forming from laughing so hard, "That's never getting old."

* * *

"Have you seen Vincent?" Shannon approached the group as soon as they returned to the confines of the cave, "I haven't seen him for awhile."

Kate shook her head with a rueful smile on her face as Jack and Hurley went to think of a new campaign strategy, and honestly, Abby didn't even think that Locke had accompanied the hatch group back.

Shannon's expression did not look appeased, so Abby stepped in, "Honestly, no one's going to tell her?" when no one answered her, Abby held her forehead, "Fine. Shannon you need to listen to me very carefully. Your brother's name was Boone not Vincent and he's not here because he's dead. He's dead and he's not coming back, although Jack did see his dead father but then again I think that might have been part of Locke's drug induced role-playing game, but he's not coming back," Abby nodded her head slowly as she finished her sentence. "Oh I might have seen him in the jungle as a man-zombie who wanted to eat my delicious-licorice brains but other than that, he's not coming back." Shannon's teeth grated against one another, "Vincent is the dog, not my brother," she held up the leash for emphasis.

"Well why did you let him off his leash?" Abby questioned, then leaned forward and placed a comforting hand on Shannon's shoulder. She lowered her voice and asked, "Did you want your zombie brother to have a hearty meal?"

"He ran away, okay?" Shannon gripped the leash tighter in her hand.

Abby bit her lip and nodded reservedly, "Alright, I'm not going to bring up the fact that testing make up on animals is illegal even if we are on an island. The King will see you're punished. And not Elvis, although that would be pretty cool, greasy hair would be in and pelvic thrusting would be the new lap dance."

Without uttering another word, but looking extremely displeased, Shannon turned on her feet and marched across the caves to find someone else to annoy. Abby sighed and sat down on the nearest rock and silently wondered how long it would take to convince everyone that she didn't speak English.

Gradual footsteps drew her out of her mental reexamination of the German language and when she looked up Locke was smiling at her with his creepy scar, "Abigail I have a question to ask you."

"I don't know where Vincent is, and I don't care, he always dug up my rosebushes, and they're temperamental in this climate as it is," she stood from her spot and dusted off her pants.

A sudden rush of talking attracted her attention, and soon the mutterings of the crowd were silenced by Jack's voice, "We're going to be okay," he began what sounded like another speech.

"Screw this," Abby mumbled and took off into the jungle.

* * *

"Let me up," Sawyer demanded as he tried to pull himself up onto the piece of wood.

Lizzie placed a foot on his shoulder and pushed him off, "this is my piece of wreckage, I was here first, you shouldn't have gotten yourself shot and caught in the riptide."

"Listen Kiddo, since Michael decided to try and paddle to catch up with the others it's just you and me now," Sawyer informed as his hands still clawed at the wooden plank.

Lizzie shook her head and pulled out a banana from her purse. The sun was beginning to rise and the air beginning to warm, "Actually it's you for yourself and me for myself."

Sawyer chuckled almost evilly, "You do realize that I could flip this right now and you would go crashing into the water."

"No you won't," she took the peel from her banana and tossed it over her shoulder.

"Oh, and why not?" Sawyer's temper was becoming short.

She smiled brightly, "Because there's a shark right behind you."

"Yeah ri—" Chancing a glance over his shoulder Sawyer saw the fin of a shark less than five yards away, "Jesus!"

Lizzie held her stomach as she laughed, "Kill him my pretty, kill him."

* * *

A metal clanging alerted Desmond, causing him to stop what he was doing and run to the periscope he used for viewing the shaft of the hatch. A skinny brunette had falling all the way down and no lay on her side in the puddles of water that had been there since before he took over hatch duty.

He turned his face away from the periscope and looked over his shoulder, "There's a skinny brown-haired girl in the shaft of the hatch."

Abby swallowed another gulp of the Frappuccino that Desmond made for her, "That's Kate, she's nice if you can deal with the fact that she's angry all the time for reasons unknown. " She paused for a moment with a small chuckle, "Shaft."

"What should we do then Sister?" Desmond asked looking back through the reflected mirrors and seeing that Kate still hadn't moved.

Abby set her empty glass back down on the table, "I don't know but if she's here then Locke will be here soon, and then after that Jack. They're like lemmings really. Lemmings with human names and multiple personality disorders."

"Are they a threat?" he questioned moving away from the periscope and towards a door with a combination lock, after the lock clicked open the closet full of guns was in clear view.

Abby shrugged, "They're not really a threat, but I say we treat them like one, I haven't been part of a hostage situation in like forever."

Desmond smiled and cocked his rifle, "Will do, Sister."

* * *

When the beach was only a few feet away Lizzie moved off of her piece of wreckage and onto the powder white shores, "Finally where here," she complained and set her purse down at her feet.

Sawyer was lying on his back, half of his body was still caught in the surf, "Yeah, well maybe we would've gotten her quicker if you helped paddle."

"Hey, I saved you from that shark against my better judgment, so you'd better shut it," She stood akimbo, her eyes partially closed as she inspected the beach in the morning sunlight, "So how far away from our beach do you think we are?"

Before Sawyer could answer a noise came from down the beach. As they both wrenched their heads to see what it was, Jin screamed again.

"Jin," Sawyer shouted and ran towards him as the other man fell into the sand with unbalanced running.

"I knew there was something going on between them," Lizzie muttered as she walked leisurely to catch up to them, "There had to be a reason why he was on the raft."By the time she had caught up to them, the gag was already out of Jin's mouth and the ropes untied from his hands, "Man Abby was right, we did crash with all the sex freaks."

"Others" Jin pointed to a group of trees, "Others."

"What's he trying to say?" Sawyer looked to the man, and then to the same group of trees.

"I think he's saying mother," Lizzie mused aloud, "Well your momma too."

"No," Jin shook his head in disagreement, "Others."

"Oh," Lizzie instantly perked up, "He saying others, like the other people from our camp are just around the corner," she stood from where she was kneeling in the sand, "come on let's go."

"If our camp is around that corner, then why was he all tied up and beaten?" Sawyer questioned as Jin still periodically said, 'others' and pointed to the trees.

Lizzie shrugged, "Maybe Kate got him, she's got a lot of anger you know." She didn't have time to elaborate more as five unknown people ran from around the corner towards them. Her eyes grew big, "Or maybe he meant the Others."

* * *

_Next Chapter - With the newly united forces of Desmond and Abby, will Jack, Kate and Locke be able to persuade them to put down the guns, even if only for a few minutes ? Probably not. And Lizzie meets Ana-Lucia. Enough said._

Do what Ethan would do, and REVIEW! 


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